Mojo's Analyst
by Dougster
Summary: Bubbles plays counselor with an unwilling Mojo. How will he use it against her? Or can she really turn him good? (Final chapter up, make-or-break time for Bubbles!) (Sequel to Candy Is Dandy)
1. The Yellowhaired Terror

**

Mojo's Analyst

**

"Ha-ha! I laugh at your pain! I make a sound of pleasure at your shortcomings! I do this because I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo!" _-- You-know-who, from "Los Dos Mojos"_

"You're just plain mean, Mojo. It's time for Bubbles to teach you to play nice!" _-- You-know-who, from "Heroes & Villains"_

~~~~

The mutated monkey woke up. He groaned; his whole body swam with pain. His head rested in a cluster of soft pillows, and his bed was littered with stuffed cats, goats, and teddy bears. 

"Huuuhhh?" He blinked his left eye -- the right was swollen shut. His head felt like a truck had hit it. "Wha's this?" 

"Ah! You're a-wake!"

The monkey stiffened. _No. It's_...

She flashed into view above his bed, with her usual big smile and even bigger blue eyes, a girl whose yellow pigtails and squeaky voice froze him with terror. 

"Bubbles!"

Pronouncing this name was somewhat difficult, for his lip was swollen and cut. Still the verbal torrent poured forth: "This is an outrage! What is the -- ow!" He had tried to sit up, and fresh pain shot through him. He fell back on the bed, panting. 

The girl giggled, then clapped her hands over her mouth as if she had said a rude word. "Oh! I'm sorry Mojo, I didn't mean to laugh at you. Here -- " smile back in place --"how about some chicken soup?"

She picked up a steaming bowl from the end table by Mojo's bed (where he kept his hardcover copies of _Planet Of The Apes, The Evil Genius' Handbook [newly revised and updated], Destroying Cities 101, _and_ The Life And Times Of Attila The Hun_) and moved a spoonful of soup toward his wounded mouth. A drop fell and splashed on the covers.

He batted the spoon away. Droplets of golden liquid scattered, and the spoon clanged to the observatory floor. "WHAT ARE YOU...ohhhhh!" He sank back into the pillows. Even raising his voice hurt. 

"What am I doing here? Helping you get better. It's our fault what happened to you, and I wanted to make it up to you."

This brought the biggest groan yet. 

Now he remembered. The unexpected, incredible phone call from the girls. The secret back-alley night meeting where he heard, in lowered voices, their even more incredible proposal: "Just do what you do best." "Then take the fall." "And we bust you out the next day." "We know you cannot resist this opportunity." "So what do you say?" "Pal?"

Destroying Townsville on a daily basis was a pretty good gig. But even as he merrily crushed buildings in his Robo-Jojo, he had to wonder: _Why?_

It didn't take his superior brain long to find out. Candy. The Mayor had hooked those poor girls on some kind of innocent-looking jawbreaker which drove them to un-Powerpuff-like actions to keep the fixes coming. They lived for that candy(and even now, Mojo had to wonder just what was in it). So he could not resist stealing it from the Mayor. And when the girls found out...

_"Ohhhhhhh!"_

"I'm sorry!" Bubbles had her hands over her mouth and looked almost ready to cry. "It's okay, Mojo! I'll make you all better." And she planted a kiss on his furry monkey head. 

"Arrgghh -- wait a minute." Mojo pulled the covers up to his nose, looked around. "Where are your sisters?"

"What? Oh, they're not here."

"Why not?"

"Well...um..." A trace of a blush. "They think I'm at the zoo, visiting all my animal friends!" Another burst of giggles; it grated on his ears. "Now, Mojo. You really should eat your soup." She hovered over his bed, holding the bowl with one hand and another spoon with the other. 

Wearily he muttered, "I do not have any chicken soup in my kitchen."

"I made it at home and brought it in my school thermos, just for you!" 

He heaved a sigh and opened his mouth. The soup was warm and, he could not deny, delicious. Before he knew, it the bowl was empty.

Bubbles set the bowl aside and looked at him intently, a finger in her mouth, as if she was thinking about something.

"Mojo?"

"What?"

"Why are you so mean?"

He frowned; or would have, if he wasn't frowning already. "You do not think it might have something to do with the accident that made you and mutated me?"

"No, Mojo. The professor once said you used to break everything you could get your paws on. You were bad _before_ the accident!" She appeared quite pleased with herself for this insight. 

"You have been bad yourself!"

"Yes, yes, 'cause I got konked on the head!" (Mojo couldn't help smiling at the memory of this.) "And that other time, I got real mad 'cause I was tired of everyone treating me like cute little baby Bubbles. And this time," her face fell, "it was that candy."

"So what is your point?"

"What else?" The girl raised her arms in a gesture of triumph. "There's always a reason for being bad!"

And Mojo's weakened but still superior brain realized. _She wishes to uncover some hidden cause for my evil nature!_

"Bubbles, no! I am evil, and that is all! There is no how, or why, that you could detect!" He pointed toward the door. "Now get out of my home! You are here uninvited! You are not welcome..."

He fell back, sore and breathless. His furry hand dropped to his chest. Too painful. No strength. And Bubbles hovered above him, healthy, superpowered, and behind that deceptively cute child-starlet face, packing a strength he had felt all too often, and winced to think of. 

He was a prisoner in his own observatory!

Bubbles descended until she was almost sitting on the bed. "Don't worry, Mojo, we have plenty of time. I told the Professor and my sisters I'd be gone all day!"

Mojo looked across the room at his wall clock. 9:24AM. 

Then he became aware of something hard, something unyielding, underneath his pillow. He scrunched his brow. What...?

"Why, Mojo!" Bubbles gushed a moment later. "You're smiling!"

"What? Oh, no no! Simply an involuntary spasm of my facial muscles. I do not wish to smile at all." And he put on his best scowl. 

But inwardly he thought: Yes! _Yes!_ Under his pillow, where he had left it before his last arrest, lay his newly-completed and best invention. It took hand-held weaponry to a new level and made his old blaster look like a pop-gun -- the Atomic Puff-Buster! Bubbles never saw it. And now the little fool had put herself in the perfect position to be its first victim! With a single well-aimed blast, the Atomic Puff-Buster could vaporize half of Townsville -- or, the monkey was willing to bet, even a Powerpuff girl. 

He couldn't wait to find out.

_I will just bide my time, until the right moment..._

The girl flew to her SpongeBob Squarepants backpack and rummaged through it. Her back was turned squarely toward him. "Got some medical things in here somewhere..."

It was times like these when Mojo wondered if there really was someone up above. Or at least down below(besides Him). Carefully, carefully, he slid his right hand under the pillow. His fingers closed around the weapon. 

A wicked smile spread across his face. 


	2. Bubbles' Fantasy

The Atomic Puff-Buster in his grip felt cold. Metallic. And...he tugged on it...

Heavy.

_Curses!_ He gnashed his teeth. Now he remembered. The weapon's one drawback was that it weighed a ton. Even when healthy, he'd needed both hands to lift it. Now, weak and battered as he was, he could not even think of raising it, much less aiming it. Oh, curses! Curses!

"Ah!" Bubbles turned around, an iodine bottle in one hand and a box of band-aids in the other. "Don't worry, Mojo! We'll get you all better!"

The monkey heaved a sigh. Fine. Let the stupid girl nurse him back to health, and in this way contribute to her own destruction! The moment he had his strength back...

~~~~

Bubbles dabbed iodine on his cuts(and apologized for every time he shrieked), covered him with band-aids, and even kissed his head where either she or one of her sisters had smashed part of his braincap. Then she pulled a notepad and a purple crayon from her backpack and sat on the edge of the bed. 

He gazed wearily at her from a face dotted with band-aids. "Now what are you doing?"

"We're going to find out what makes you bad, so we can make you good! Then you'll stop wanting to be mean and smash up Townsville all the time. Maybe you can even help my sisters and me, wouldn't that be neat! Now don't look at me that way, Mojo. Can't you just picture it?"

And speaking with all the idealistic naiveté of a girl her age, she bubbled forth her vision for the reformed monkey...

**

****Bubbles' Fantasy****

**

(_Opening shot: the city skyline in the morning._)

****

Narrator: The city of Townsville, where life insurance and damage insurance are almost impossible to get. For here lurk the most fiendish, hateful, cruel, vicious, sadistic practitioners of evil on the face of the earth--like Him! _(Cut to the devil-man with his typical toothy grin, snapping his lobster-claws)_ The Gangrene Gang! _(cut to Big Billy holding an unfortunate elderly man upside down by his ankles, shaking a rain of change from the man's pockets. The coins ping and bounce on the sidewalk where the others scramble for them, cackling)._ Fuzzy Lumpkins! _(The pink antennaed hick stands outside his cabin, blasting his "boomstick" blunderbuss at some shrieking boys who are dashing away as fast as their panicked legs can propel them.)_

****

Fuzzy: An' _stay_ off mah property, yuh lousy snot-noses!

****

Narrator: And shall I even mention Princess, Abracadaver, the repulsive Roach Coach, the headsucking Robbing Leech, the demented Smith family, the awful Eye Carumba, the bloated Blowfish Monster -- what? I forgot someone, you say? _(Cut to an extreme close-up of Mojo's face, smiling contently with lidded eyes.)_ Why, no! _(Camera pulls back to reveal him wearing not his usual outfit, but blue jeans, tennis shoes, and a white tee shirt with a yellow smiley-face on the front. His braincap is as pink as Blossom's eyes.)_ Why do you ask?

__

(Mojo's eyes light up. We soon see the reason: the Powerpuff Girls swoop down from the sky and hover in a slowly rotating circle around him. They are obviously delighted to see him, too.)

****

Blossom: Hi Jojo! How nice it is too see you!

****

Buttercup: Yeah, Jojo! You might have been a pain in the hiney once, but now this chimp is no chump! _(High-fives him.)_

****

Bubbles: _(hugging him)_ Oh, Jojo! Doesn't it feel good not to be bad anymore?

****

Jojo: _(returning her hug)_ Indeed it does, my sweeet little Bubbles. It gives me a pleasure like nothing else in this wonderful, bright, lovely world. No more fights! No more sleepless nights of wracking my superior brain for evil ideas! I am full of happiness. I am brimming over with well-being! I am good, I am nice, I am...

****

The girls: Jojo!!! _(Everyone laughs. Jojo pulls out three lollipops, one red, one blue, and one green.)_

****

Jojo: And behold what I have brought you! I carefully crafted them in my volcano-top candy factory to match each of your favorite flavors. 

__

(The girls squeal their thanks. A moment later they're happily licking their candies, but freeze when something casts a huge shadow over them. Everyone looks up. The girls drop their lollipops and bite their nails.)

****

Blossom: Oh, no! It can't be!

****

Buttercup: _(teeth chattering)_ N-n-not that!! Please, anything but that! Anything but...

****

Bubbles: ...Eye Carumba!

__

(And indeed, it is the giant floating eye-covered sphere that blitzkrieged Townsville in "The Mane Event.")

****

Buttercup: We just barely beat it last time!

****

Bubbles: Yeah, because it was laughing at Blossom's stupid-looking hairdo --

****

Blossom: Not now, Bubbles! _(The girls all grab each other)_ What are we going to do???

__

(Cut to Jojo, who looks not ruffled in the least. He steps forward to face the being, raises a finger.)

****

Jojo: You! Evil creature, relentless wrecker of cities! Yes! I am addressing you! Direct all your organs of sight -- _(he points with both hands to his pink braincap)_ -- _here!_

(It looks. Its fierce expression melts away until its eyes look downright peaceful. It drifts up and away like a balloon, and finally disappears from sight.)

****

Buttercup: _(astounded)_ Jeepers, Jojo, how did you do that?

__

(A crowd has gathered around them; they are staring at the monkey and obviously wondering this, too.)

****

Jojo: _(nonchalantly)_ Ah, it was nothing. My cap is a special shade of pink engineered to calm the meanest mind!

****

Blossom: _(stroking her chin)_ So that's why there's been so little for us to do lately!

__

(And indeed, even as she speaks, the villains mentioned at the beginning -- The Gangrene Gang, Him, Fuzzy, Abracadaver, Roach Coach, the Smith family and the Robbing Leech -- slink by, carrying various kinds of luggage. Ace's suitcase is dotted with stickers from National Juvenile Court, San Quentin and Sing Sing. Harold Smith's suitcase sports stickers from various mental institutions. Him's suitcase has just one bright yellow sticker saying "Welcome to Hades, where you can't beat the heat!" Fuzzy lugs a trunk on his back with stickers from the NATIONAL MISANTHROPE CONVENTION 1998, 1999, 2000, and so on. The Robbing Leech's suitcase has no stickers, but a quote stenciled in white: "There's a sucker born every minute!" -- P.T. Barnum.)

****

Blossom: Hey, where are you all going?

****

Him: _(mournfully)_ Who cares, as long as it's not here?

****

Ace: Since that Mojo goodied out on us, this place is no fun anymore!

****

Fuzzy: Yeah, there just ain't no way to outsmart him. He's always a step ahead of us, dag-nabbit. 

__

(Buttercup looks at her fists, as if slowly realizing that she may never get to use them on a criminal again.)

****

Buttercup: Well, I could still become a boxer...

****

Blossom: Hold on! Where's Princess?

****

Ace: _(over his shoulder)_ Flew out in her private jet last night. 

__

(The girls and Jojo watch as the evil menagerie tramp down the street, over a hill and out of sight. Then the Amoeba Boys come wriggling by, also with suitcases that say "Life sentence in Alcatraz or bust!")

****

Bossman: _(out of breath)_ Hey ya mugs, wait for us!

__

(They too vanish over the hill. Then Bubbles leaps for joy.)

****

Bubbles: Yaaayyy!! Know what this means, girls? Townsville is finally safe! We don't have to worry about its people getting hurt anymore! And not only that, now we've got time for fun things like watching cartoons, and eating cereal, and drawing pictures and playing with stuffed animals, and going on vacations! No more hotline going buzz-buzz-buzz! No more Mayor saying, _(squeezes her right eye shut, imitates his voice)_ "Oh Powerpuff Girls, help help, I got a mouse in my office, _eeeeek!_"

__

(The other girls' eyes light up as they realize the possibilities.)

****

Blossom: Bubbles, you're right! I never thought of that!

****

Buttercup: Yeah, we can finally take a trip without worrying about the town! Bahamas, here we come!

****

Jojo: Yes, girls! If anyone deserves a time of relaxation and rest, it is you, who have saved this grateful city many times over! And should evil rear its ugly head, I will be more than capable of dispelling it! _(Turns to go)_ And now, if you will excuse me, I am off to resurrect those three children formerly known as the Rowdyruff Boys, but this time as good, sweet tots who will help turn our city into an even better, nicer, and more pleasant place! _(Walks off, hands in pockets, whistling "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah.")_

(Buttercup appears to be thinking about this. Then a look of part disgust, part panic seizes her face. She cups her hands to her mouth and yells after the monkey:)

****

Buttercup: No, don't! They might ask us for _dates!!!_

(Bubbles and Blossom double over with laughter.)

****

Narrator: And so, once and for all, the day is saved, thanks to that ever-lovin' monkey! _(Sighs)_ Well, looks like I'd better update my resume...I wonder if the new Scooby-Doo show would be interested in a narrator?

~~~~

Thus Bubbles finished her tale. She sat on Mojo's bed, beaming. "How does that sound, Mojo?"

For a minute, no reply. Then, from Mojo's throat, something like a grunt. Then a strangled gurgle. Bubbles started to look alarmed. Finally he choked out, "Bubbles?"

"Yes?"

"Are you attempting to cause me to THROW UP?!!"

(more to come....)


	3. The Doctor Is In

How did Bubbles respond? She smiled, of course, and picked up her crayon. "Now Mojo, tell me about your life."

He snorted. "This is ridiculous."

"Do you want me to go?"

His face lit up, just like in the girl's story. 

"So the sooner you tell me, the sooner I'll be gone!"

Mojo grimaced and squeezed his eyes shut. _What did I ever do to deserve this..._

"Now, what's the first bad thing you ever did?"

A long sigh. "I remember pulling the hair off another young chimpanzee."

She was aghast. "You pulled the hair of another monkey?"

"No, I pulled the hair _off_ another monkey. Two handfuls, perhaps more." He couldn't help but grin.

Bubbles dropped her notebook and crayon, covered her mouth. Her eyes were wide. "Mojo!"

"May I remind you, my dear, that you asked."

"But that's terrible!"

"Precisely. Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

He stopped. His laughter -- it had rang out as strong as always. He flexed, unflexed his fingers. His strength, was it returning? Were these pleasant memories recharging his vitality?

_Ha-ha, little Bubbles! Go on, ask me more questions! And be obliterated by my Atomic Puff-Buster before you know it!_

"What else, Mojo? But nothing else nasty like that!" The girl shivered. 

He drew a long sigh. "All right. My father -- "

"Ah-ha! He was mean to you?"

The chimp bristled. "I beg your pardon! He was the respected mascot of a Merchant Marine captain, held in high esteem by the entire crew!" He pointed across the room to a portrait of an old white-bearded monkey in a naval uniform. "He most certainly did not mistreat me! As to the rest of my early years, I remember very little before the accident in the professor's laboratory." Hopefully that would get him off the hook.

"Ahhhh!" She jumped up, waving her notebook and crayon. Her notebook had little purple stick-drawings of monkeys, trees and clouds; she had been doodling. "You have re-pressed memories!"

He harrumphed. "I do not!"

"Maybe you always felt in-fe-ri-or to humans 'cause you're a monkey, and that's why you want to take over the world. I'll bet that's it -- an in-fe-ri-ority complex!"

"No! No!" He clenched his fists. "A chimp is all I ever wanted to be, and it is all I ever want to be now! At no time did I ever want to be human! I would rather be me with my swollen brain than you with all your superpowers and charm!"

"Yes you would, Mojo! You just don't remember, is all. Try to remember."

He gnashed his teeth. Ohhh, when he got his chance to use the Puff-Buster...

She jumped as if touched with a live wire. "Oh, wait! I know! You've got some kind of dis-order! There are lots of dis-orders. And anyone with a brain bigger than the whole rest of his head has gotta have one of them. That's it!" She bounced on the bed. "So we just need some kind of med-i-cation for it! Do you have any aspirin? I have some hot chocolate at home, and when I'm sad it always makes me feel better. Or," (he could almost hear the gears whirring in her pretty little head) "I could get you some sugar, spice, and everything nice! One spoonful of that'll fix you right up!" She clapped her hands and bounded about in the air, giggling.

"I would sooner eat sludge." He yanked the covers over his head. 

"Oh. Well...maybe just ther-a-py's good enough."

Suddenly he felt her grab him. "C'mon, Mojo. I've got a great idea for your ther-a-py!"

He instinctively tightened for another beating; but she was only gathering him up, blanket and all, and lifting him out of bed. He barely managed to pull his hidden weapon inside the scarlet blanket that was wrapped around him, before Bubbles zoomed him out the observatory door and into the sunshine. 


	4. Therapy Follies

"Where are you taking me?" he demanded. 

"Not far. Look, see down there, in the park? Those girls and boys?"

He saw them. A dozen or so kindergarteners stood by a small pond, looking forlornly at a ball floating out in the water; apparently one of them had thrown it too far. 

Bubbles set the monkey down by the crowd. They backed away when they saw him, though the girl did not seem to notice this at all. "Now Mojo, do you think it'd be better to just do nothing like a mean old bad guy, or -- " she smiled again, which churned his stomach -- "get their ball for them, like a good sw-_eet_ person!" Said with her hands clasped. 

Mojo looked out at the red, white and blue beach ball. He studied the kindergarteners, who apprehensively returned his gaze or glanced away. He turned to Bubbles. "I certainly would not fail to take action -- "

"Ah-hah!" She nearly jumped for joy.

" -- for I could not resist the opportunity to cast ridicule at these moronic children for their mistake, and then enjoy the added pleasure of watching them throw delightful tantrums. And then, perhaps, as icing on the baked confection, I would blast my laser and sending them howling home with scorched rears!"

Ah, the thought! It filled him with sunshine; it shuddered him with warm and pleasant fuzzies. 

_"Mojo!"_ Bubbles looked horrified, to say nothing of the wide-eyed youngsters now backing away from the blanket-wrapped chimpanzee with the band-aid-dotted face. The girl hastily addressed them: "He didn't mean that! Don't worry, I'll get your ball for you -- "

Too late. They were stampeding away. 

Mojo chuckled -- he just couldn't help it -- but stopped when he saw the Powerpuff Girl glaring at him. 

Still he had to grin.

For his strength was returning faster than ever now. Perhaps laughter really was the best medicine. His body, not as sore; the pain, not as sharp. If he could get just a little more strength...

He forced a shamed expression onto his face. "Oh, Bubbles, I do not know what came over me!" He made a show of wringing his hands. "If I could perhaps get another chance..."

The girl brightened as if he had offered her the keys to a chocolate factory. "Why sure, Mojo! And I know just where to go!"

She whisked him away. 

~~~~

The next thing Mojo knew, he was standing in front of an orange concrete block of a building. A sign above its glass door said TOWNSVILLE RESCUE MISSION. 

The chimp scowled and pulled the blanket tighter around him. "A homeless shelter -- " he caught himself, tried his best to smile -- "Why, the homeless shelter! Paragon of virtue! Pillar of kindness and goodwill! The very embodiment of human charity, selflessness and..." he gagged and could not go on. 

"Yes, Mojo, yes!" The girl clapped her hands and bounced up and down. "Let's go in so you can meet everybody!"

"Everybody" turned out to be the director, the chaplain, six assistants, and two dozen washed and shaved residents, all of whom recoiled when Bubbles carried the bazooka-brained villain into their midst. 

Bubbles giggled. "It's okay everyone, it's okay! I'm teaching Mojo to be good!"

Silence. Everyone was staring at the girl as if she had gone quite mad.

Mojo coughed. "Oh, _please,"_ he moaned, and clasped his hands as he had seen the girl do. "I have been such a terrible chimp!"

"You see?" Bubbles beamed like a child on Christmas morning.

(Just how dumb _is_ this girl? Mojo thought.)

The director stepped forward. "Well if you'd like to help, it's almost time to start fixing lunch..."

~~~~

Bubbles prepared the meal all by herself in five minutes. She peeled the potatoes, chopped the carrots and green beans, pitched them into an iron stockpot, sprayed in the water, sprinkled in pepper and thyme leaves, heated the stew with a blast of her laser eyes(the better to save the mission a little gas); sliced the bread, tossed the salad, filled the milk glasses. She asked Mojo to help, but...

"Ohhhhh! I am so soo-o-o-ore!"

"Poor monkey." She patted him on the head. "I'll just prop you up here next to me, so you can see how happy everyone is when they come get their food!" She donned a white chef's hat and started ladling out steaming stew to the residents who inched by one by one, holding out aluminum trays. The sliced bread, salad bowl and milk glasses were arranged buffet-like on Bubbles' right, while the monkey stood on her left.

Mojo's superior brain worked feverishly. What to do? How to erase those grateful smiles on their disgustingly happy faces? 

He glanced around. Bubbles stood on a tall stool, spooning stew into one tray after another, before the men helped themselves to the bread and salad. "One for you...and one for you..."

Then the chimp's eyes fell on something. A grin spread across his face. _If it was good enough for my kinsman Hacha-Chacha..._

A bunch of bananas sat on a shelf inside the counter, just to his left. Bubbles had eyes only for her customers. Carefully Mojo reached out, plucked and peeled a banana with simian expertise. He gulped the white fruit and set the peel aside. Then he plucked another banana, peeled it, another one, peeled it, until he had a full stomach and a dozen peels piled inside the counter. 

Now came the tricky part. He gathered up the yellow bundle and, glancing back every few moments to make sure the girl wasn't looking, inched to the end of the counter. One by one he pitched the peels around the counter into the forest of denim and courduroy-clad legs. Then he struggled to his feet and, with a rush of anticipation, punched the fire alarm.

HONK! HONK!

"FIRE!" He jumped up and down, waving his arms. "Fire is consuming this building! It is spreading at a great rate of speed! Everyone must get out, fast, fast, before we are burned!"

Yells, scramblings, pandemonium. Man after man slipped and went flying. Stew splattered everywhere, trays clanged to the floor. Bubbles just blinked her big eyes at the scene, still holding her ladle. Brown droplets of stew flew all around her, and a tray just missed her head; but strangely none of it seemed to touch her. It was Mojo's only disappointment. 

"Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Mu-ha-ha-ha -- I mean," he forced that excruciatingly remorseful look onto his face again when he saw Bubbles staring daggers at him. "A thousand pardons, dear Bubbles. I was certain I saw smoke. And since I was keeping it foremost in my superior brain that good people give the highest priority to the welfare and safety of others, I thought it best to -- "

"Get him out of here!" the men shouted, sprawled all over the floor, covered with stew and lettuce and pieces of bread.

Bubbles whisked him out of the building. 


	5. The Session Concludes

Bubbles carried the monkey to the top of the city's space needle tower downtown. Mojo flexed and unflexed his fingers -- his strength was definitely returning. The heavy Puff-Buster itched inside his bedclothes. _I am almost there. I am almost able to..._

The girl set him down and folded her arms. "Mojo. How did all those banana peels get on the floor?"

"Why, Bubbles!" He did his best to look hurt. "Why would I do something like that?"

"Because you're evil."

Good point. "Yes!" he laughed. "Oh yes, _yes!"_

Now it was the girl who looked hurt. "I just don't understand how you can be so mean, Mojo."

"There is nothing to understand! That is what I have been trying to tell you! I am bad because I am bad! I am wicked because I am wicked! There does not need to be a reason!"

Bubbles appeared deep in thought. "What if there was a reason to be good?"

"Such as?" 

"If you were good, we wouldn't have to beat you up all the time."

Mojo rubbed his chin. _Well..._

"Yes!" Bubbles brightened. "Think of it, Mojo! No more laser eyes. No more ice breath. No more power-punches or kicks. No more black eyes, busted braincaps, loose teeth or jail time. And no more Buttercup calling you 'Mo-jerk' and 'Mo-joke.' Tell me you wouldn't like that!"

Mojo pursed his lips. He wondered, he pondered, he scratched his head. 

Well? What about it? Peace. Quiet. No more having to look over his shoulder for those terrible tots. No more having to repair the damage they wreaked on his abode, or patch up the jagged holes they always left in his ceiling when they crashed in. And without always having to build some new weapon, or wrack his superior brain for diabolical plans -- which, he couldn't help but note, had a perfect record of failure -- he would have time for other things. More worthwhile things, like his hobby of assembling ships in bottles -- he never seemed to have enough time for that. Or much of anything else. It astounded him, now that he thought of it. How much of his time went into fighting the girls, plotting against the girls, railing against the girls? And (he winced at the thought) getting thrashed by the girls? The beatings -- the endless, unbelievable beatings, the eye-beam scorchings, and the flash-freezings of Blossom's breath. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, getting dragged off to jail yet again, after which he broke out only to start the whole cycle anew. For years this had gone on. And for _what?_

Was this the really the kind of life that someone with a superior brain would lead?

Should he not rethink such a life? 

Bubbles was studying his face. Bubbles smiled. 

And Mojo realized that -- yes -- he himself was smiling, a glowing ear-to-ear beauty!

"Bubbles!" he cried, with a voice that left no doubt that his strength had fully returned. "I have considered your words. I have pondered what you said. Yes. I confess I have never thought about it before, but now I see that the way to a harmonious, trouble-free, and violence-free existence is indeed so simple! And that is to destroy you Powerpuff Girls once and for all! Ha-ha! And here, concealed within my bedclothes, is the means to do it! Behold my newest, greatest and most brilliant invention, the Atomic Puff-Buster! See its aerodynamic shape, its cold blue steel barrel, its megaton-charged power pack! I squeeze this trigger, and it will vaporize half of Townsville along with yourself! Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha -- "

_Zap!_

Mojo choked in mid-sentence. His hands, which had leveled his weapon so threateningly at Bubbles, now clutched air, and a heap of smouldering ashes was gathering at his feet. _Oops...not laser-eyebeam resistant._

Bubbles shook her head. "You're a baaaaad monkey, Mojo."

She grabbed him and took off. 

It was a short flight; the Townsville Jail was just down the street. 

~~~~

The ape stretched out on the cot in his jail cell, looking up at the ceiling, hands folded behind his head, smiling contentedly. Graffiti on the wall proclaimed DA GANGRENE GANG WUZ HEER! 

From down the hall he heard a female voice purring: "Hey there, guard? Yes, you with all the keys...won't you come in and keep me company for a while? I'm just dying for companionship...hey, where are you going? GET BACK HERE!"

Mojo rolled his eyes -- Sedusa was at it again. But his smile never left his face.

_It was worth it! Ha-ha! I do not regret it one bit, not one iota!_ And now he had to think. What to do when he got out? What new scheme or gadget could he think up? What evil plot to shake the world and bring it to its knees? His superior brain spun with ideas...

The cell's iron door opened and clanged shut. 

"Hi Mojo!"

His eyes sprang wide. His smile vanished. He jolted upright and clutched at the wall on either side of him, as though it might somehow protect him from the blond six-year-old menace smiling as sweetly as ever at him. 

"Buh -- buh -- b-b-_what are you doing in my cell?!"_

"Well," she said, "when I got home, I told everyone what I did. They weren't too happy. The Professor sat me down for a long talk. Buttercup called me a bonehead, and Blossom just shook her head at me."

_Heh-heh-heh_..."But I do not understand. Why then are you visiting me?"

"Visiting? Oh! Well, you see, the Mayor was there too, for dinner. And he said I was practicing psy-cho-ther-a-py without a license."

Slowly it sank in. Mojo started to wag his head. "So you are..."

"Your cell-mate!" She announced this as if it had been her whole life's ambition. "And since I'm already here, what difference would it make if I practiced it now?" Out came the notebook and crayon.

"No!" The chimp stomped up and down. "Do not! This cannot be! Say it is not so!"

"There's no need to yell, Mojo." She sat down cross-legged on the floor, notebook in her lap. "Now, tell me what you remember about your life -- up until the accident of course," she giggled, ignoring his ravings and shouts and bangings on the cell door. 


End file.
